Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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