it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
