And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
