Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
