k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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