so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She told me I should be a condom model.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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