Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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