Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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