singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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