i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize