Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
