worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
