You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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