Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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