Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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