I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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