so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm too high and old for this...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
