apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
