it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
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Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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