"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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