Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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