so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
