hotel room ftw
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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