so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
worst night to have a conscience
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
