what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I smell stomach acid.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
