Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
