We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
