3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
