Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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