I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
