apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
