we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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