i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
