We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
