My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize