then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
