after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
