Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
