i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
