we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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