Already got asked if we're dating
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
