Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
