My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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