That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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