I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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