Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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