Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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