im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
