Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
