Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
