"it" just moved
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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