ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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