haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
