I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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