dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
