I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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