We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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