every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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