He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
